On the surface, life looked pretty good.
I had a steady job, a place to live, and two of the most loyal friends I’d ever known.
But underneath it all, I was still just a kid drifting without an anchor, unsure of who I was or where I was headed.
Growing up, my home life was different from most, if not all, of my friends. It gave me a strong foundation of love, but it also meant I didn’t always see myself reflected in the world around me.
I didn’t know what life had in store for me, or what my purpose was supposed to be.
So, I wandered.
When things became difficult, uncertain, or uncomfortable, I moved on.
Quitting had become my coping mechanism. My way of avoiding being stuck in a place I didn’t belong, even if I didn’t yet know where I did belong.
That summer, my wandering took the shape of freedom, impulsive choices, and one moment that would alter the course of my life forever.
My First Real Job
Just before meeting Dave and Dave, with my mom’s help, I landed my first real job working the night shift at UPS.
I started out loading trucks as an hourly employee.
It was back-breaking work. Long nights, heavy lifting, the kind of job where you went home drenched in sweat and covered in grime.
Over time, I proved myself and was eventually promoted to supervisor.
For the first time, it felt like maybe I was starting to get my life on track.
UPS even had a clear plan for my future:
Work my way up as a supervisor.
Earn an associate’s degree through their program.
Start driving full-time when I turned twenty-one.
Eventually move into management.
My life was practically mapped out for me and while that plan provided structure, it didn’t give me purpose.
I have a clear memory of sitting in my car in the UPS parking lot one morning before my shift.
I stared at the building and thought:
“Is this it? Is this where I’m supposed to spend the next thirty or forty years?”
It wasn’t fear of success.
It was something deeper. It was a lack of direction.
I didn’t know if this was the right path because I didn’t even know what path I wanted to be on.
A Pattern of Moving On
Looking back, I can see the pattern.
When life got difficult or uncertain, I didn’t stay and fight through it. I left.
I quit wrestling when the chaos of my teenage years swallowed my focus.
I walked away from school when it stopped feeling like a place where I belonged.
And now, even with a stable job and a clear plan at UPS, I felt the pull to move on again.
It wasn’t about success or failure. It was about movement.
Standing still felt like being trapped, and I didn’t know how to be still with myself yet.
The Wrong Turn
Things were going great on paper.
I had a solid job with a clear future and amazing, reliable friends.
But I wasn’t done making impulsive, immature choices.
Sue had moved to Delaware and bought a house near Rehoboth Beach.
She had a friend who could get me a job at Grotto’s Pizza and offered to let me live with her for free for the summer.
For me, it wasn’t just the promise of a summer escape, it was the chance to live with Sue again.
Those years with my mom and Sue had been some of the safest, happiest times of my childhood, and the thought of having that closeness again filled me with a sense of comfort and excitement I didn’t even realize I’d been missing.
At eighteen, the offer sounded perfect:
A summer at the beach.
Free rent.
A fun, easy job lined up.
And a familiar, loving presence waiting at home.
The responsible choice would have been to stay at UPS and keep building on the foundation I’d started.
But responsibility wasn’t what I was looking for.
So, I made the reckless decision to quit UPS, move to Delaware, and spend the summer working at a pizza restaurant.
At the time, it felt like freedom.
In reality, it was just another way of running without knowing where I was really headed.
I’d seen what it looked like when people built a life rooted in love and loyalty. My mom and Sue had shown me that.
But I wasn’t ready to build anything yet. I didn’t know how. So instead of creating, I kept moving.
The Night Everything Changed
By late spring of 1990, I had put in my notice at UPS and was counting down the final weeks at the townhouse before my move to Delaware.
One night, Dave, Dave, and I were hanging out like we always did. We were in the basement at Dave N’s house talking, laughing, and enjoying the ease of being together when we decided to head to a party.
The girls we usually hung out with showed up to ride along, but this time, there was someone new with them. A tagalong I’d never met before.
We split into two cars, the boys in one, the girls in the other.
I was driving.
As we pulled out of the driveway, I glanced at the other car and asked Dave N who the new girl was.
He looked over and said the line he’s been teased about for more than thirty-five years now:
“Her name is Steph. But she’s wrapped up with another dude, so don’t worry about her.”
Needless to say, I didn’t take my dear friend’s advice.
I had no idea at the time that the only piece missing from my life was sitting in that other car.
Reflection
That night was a turning point I couldn’t have predicted.
Dave and Dave had given me a friendship that felt like family. A bond that echoed the lessons Sue and my mom had taught me about love and loyalty.
As I prepared to move to the beach, I believed a new chapter was about to begin.
And I was right, but not in the way I expected.
I thought the next chapter of my life would be a summer of freedom and fun.
What I didn’t know was that the real story, the one that would define the rest of my life, was waiting for me in that other car.
I didn’t realize it yet, but the love I’d been shown growing up and the lessons my mom and Sue gave me about family and belonging, were about to take on a whole new shape.
The night I met Stephie marked the start of a new chapter I didn’t see coming.
One summer decision, reckless at the time, would set the course for the rest of my life.
In the next chapter, I’ll share how that summer at the beach unfolded and how Stephie became not just a part of my life, but the center of it.
.Yay! Steph has arrived!
Love this!